


Whiskey on the Rocks

by seoless



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Drinking, F/M, Koo Junhoe - Freeform, iKON - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-07 13:30:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17366756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seoless/pseuds/seoless
Summary: Loving didn’t come easy to Junhoe. He had always been withdrawn due to the fragility of his emotions. He had walls built around his heart to ensure that he would never feel hurt again. If he’d had a choice in the matter, he would never have turned out this way. He didn’t understand why it was so hard for others to love him or why he was afraid of wearing his heart on his sleeve. Touching him would cause him to shatter into a million tiny pieces, glass shards scattered all over polished tiles.Opening the doors of your heart to love an individual just for them to eventually leave you? What becomes the purpose of loving them in the first place? But maybe, just maybe, the girl at the bar table might just be the one that will put his broken pieces back together. She might be the girl that would thaw his cold heart with the warmest of touches. He’s still so scared so he might never know.But who knows what might change in the course of a night?





	1. Enjoy Your Poison

‘Hey, June. I don’t really have the time to come over and tell you this. I believe it’s best if we didn’t see each other for a while. And honestly, after this goes through, you probably wouldn’t want to see me anyway. 

I’ve been thinking about how this isn’t working out. We’re both wasting our time and I know for a fact that you deserve much more than this. As much as it pains me to say this, I just don’t love you anymore. I’m sorry. I hope whoever comes your way will treat you better than I ever will. Take care.’ 

That text message wasn’t what Junhoe had ever wanted to see. He loved her. His chest started to tighten and everything started to feel heavy. That girl, had such an impact on him that he couldn’t even think about what the following day would be like after knowing that she no longer reciprocate his feelings. No tears came out that night, no form of emotion, nothing. The soft tapping against his window from the rain was the only thing that he could hear and it was better than hearing his own heart shatter. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you.”

Junhoe looked at his phone, it had the brightness all the way up, cussing and squinting as he looked at the time -- 1:07 in the morning. The bar that was just a few blocks away from his house was still open, at least from what he remembered. He pushed his hair back and got up to leave his apartment. A few drinks wouldn’t hurt, considering the fact that he felt like absolute shit anyway. 

It was a quiet Tuesday, no one in sight but the bartender wiping his wine glasses. He made his way towards the bar, picked a seat in the middle and took one look over his shoulder. Empty. Just like old times; alone and cold. 

“Whiskey on the rocks, please,” he said softly. 

“No girlfriend tonight?” 

The bar was pretty close to his apartment complex, so it was inevitable that Junhoe and his ex-girlfriend has been there multiple times before. The bartender had become accustomed to him showing up with his now ex-girlfriend. Junhoe had never come alone, until that night. 

“Nah, she ended things,” Junhoe responded with a soft chuckle of defeat.

“Damn, I’m sorry man...I’m assuming you’re going be here until the early hours just to numb everything, huh?”

Junhoe shrugged, “I’ll be here often, yep- so just keep a bottle open for me.” 

“One whiskey on the rocks for Mr Heartbroken. Enjoy your poison.” 

Junhoe nodded in response and took a sip of his favourite alcohol, a familiar soothing potion of bittersweetness went effortlessly down his throat. What went wrong? What else was there for him to think about during that night anyway? He followed the rules, he made sure everything was perfect, everything was going great -- at least that’s what he assumed. He did make sure that she knew she was loved every day. 

The night needed to end at some point, the bar had to close for the day. Junhoe had his heart shattered but he wasn’t inconsiderate. So as the rain kept pouring he downed his third glass that night, just enough to have his words all slurred up. The dark haired boy was a tipsy mess, but he was good on his own. His cheeks all pink and warm, but his heart was still cold. He’s been through this before, but that was years ago before he met her. 

With his thoughts all sloppy, he paid his bartender and walked out of the bar. Rain continued to fall as he walked through the streets with his head down low and if he were walking any slower he’d be a zombie. Only then was he able to let a few tears out. The rain managed to cover up any signs of him crying which was great but nothing could help him hide his breaking heart. He knew he was hurting but there wasn’t much he could do. If she was no longer in love with him, Junhoe just had to accept that. He knew. 

His eyelids were heavy but he wanted to reminisce one last time before going to bed. He looked through his gallery, smiling at every picture they took and every video they had saved. Junhoe had that smile that could potentially heal any broken heart but sadly couldn’t heal his own. He’s been so dependant on seeking happiness from someone else that he’s forgotten how to be happy without love that came from another human being.

He knew that texting her wasn’t the greatest thing to do that night, but he did it anyway. At least for him to be able to get a sense of closure, he was still human. He loved her. So with his cold fingertips, he opened up her text box, took a glimpse of what she said last and started to type. 

‘It’s pretty late, bet you’ll see this in the morning’

‘I just wanted to say…’ 

‘Thank you.’ 

‘Thank you for being honest with me. I’ll probably see you around. For now, take care of yourself.’ 

Sent.

He put his phone down and stared blankly at the wall. Junhoe wasn’t a very emotional person, he just sat there, at the edge of his bed and sighed.

“I’m sorry.”


	2. Yours Forever, Leila

A beam of light peaked through a gap in his curtains the next morning and caused the groggy boy to wake from his slumber. The thought of having to go to work was agonizing but he needed to be out, if he stayed home that day, his thoughts would’ve eaten him alive. Life needed to go the way it was, just without her. 

He checked his phone hoping that everything that happened last night was just some sort of dream, but it wasn’t. No ‘good morning’ texts, no reminders to eat, just a bunch of unnecessary notifications. Junhoe took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. Tears started to form but he held it in. He had no time for self - pity, if he didn’t leave home within half an hour, his boss would be blowing his phone up with texts.

Even though it was winter, the sun was shining brightly that morning when he stepped out of his apartment. Everybody was on their way to work, school, getting along with their lives, smiles wide on their faces. Junhoe, on the other hand, was still cold and emotionless. 

He got on the bus to work, put his earphones in, blocking out the sounds of the commute. No matter how much he tried to forget about the heartbreak, he couldn’t help but ponder his misfortune. He really only had 2 relationships, a high school sweetheart, and the one that had just ended. Both long term and thus the reason why the poor guy had become a blubbering mess. It seemed like everybody he loved was destined to leave. The universe had never been on his side.

As he looked out the window, a memory of him and his ex came to mind. 

“To the man who brought a whole new meaning to my life, 

Jacob, you were everything that I asked for. You were something that God decided to spend more time on. I could go on for days to let you know how special you really are. I want to give you the world because you deserve it. I know it took time for you to finally let love back into your life and I remembered how hard it was for you to even start holding my hand. But I promise you that I will protect you and that you and I will always have each other, even when the days get cold.  
Happy 4th, my love.  
Yours forever,  
Leila”

That was the letter she left him during their fourth year of being together. She was out of town for the night and did everything she thought of doing to keep Junhoe happy. She cooked him food that only needed to be microwaved knowing Junhoe wasn’t much of a chef, keeping his regular habits of eating instant food for days on end in mind. She was gone for a week, having left for some business trip, yet still making time to speak to him every night. 

Who would’ve thought that that would be the last time he would ever feel loved. 

Come to think of it, when she had come back from being away for a week, she began distancing herself. Her texts started to get shorter and less affectionate. Junhoe had chalked it up to her being exhausted from work, but clearly, now he knew that she was falling out of love. 

The boy had such a soft spot for her, that he would do anything for her. But that’s what you do in a relationship anyway. You give them your all. Maybe she found someone else? Someone who’d bring her the stars when all she asked for was the moon. 

Junhoe managed to let out a sigh and under his breath, he said, “Anything for you to be happy, Lei.”

Work went by the way it supposed to, his colleagues were bickering about which bar they’d be getting drunk at tonight. Just the usual, nothing really changed per se, it’s just that he wasn’t partaking in the noise. The only response his friends got from him were nods and faint ‘I don’t know’s. 

“What’s up with you, lover boy?” 

“Nothing, I’m just tired.”

“No really, what’s going on? You’re boring today.”

“I’m good, man, I gotta get things done today.”

“You always do, you’re lazy but you always find ways to finish things. Don’t really know how you do it, but-”

“Thanks.”

From there, Junhoe just stared at his screen. Nothing else came out of his mouth that day, he was so distant that his friends started to worry. They were usually carefree and loud when it came to times like this, but, Junhoe was never usually this quiet. It was starting to hurt them seeing him all closed up. 

“Junhoe, come with us tonight.” 

“I’ll ditch tonight, Hanbin. I’ve got shit to do.” The annoyance in Junhoe’s voice was evident. 

Hanbin responded obliviously, “Like what?” 

“I just… have things to do.”

“Come on man, you’re not usually like this. Don’t tell me it’s your girl telling you to stay in tonight.”

“Don’t talk about her.”

Hanbin immediately knew what had happened after that. They’ve been friends long enough to know that if Junhoe wanted to be alone, he wanted to be alone. He was an angrier individual if you pushed the wrong buttons when it comes to Junhoe. A lot of pent up anger eventually comes out. With him, his words can sting even the strongest of hearts so Hanbin didn’t want to risk anything that night. 

“Alright, if ever you do want to come tonight, just show up. We’ll be there.” Hanbin cautiously decides to reply after Junhoe’s blunt reply. It was as if his soul was burning after Junhoe said those last four words. It wasn’t Hanbin’s fault that they broke up so there wasn’t really anything to worry about.

Junhoe took a deep breath and said, “She broke up with me.”

“Yea, I kinda thought. We got you, dude. We’re always here for you. Plus, she was kinda shady to begin with.”

“I still love her, man…” And as he looked up at Hanbin with his eyes all watery and red, Hanbin knew that this was a different kind of Junhoe. He was a man that looked tired and defeated. He really was broken. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving her.”


	3. Mary Poppins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet.

Whiskey on the rocks  
Chapter 3

 

“Back again, I see.”

Junhoe turned around to see a girl, soaking wet from the pouring rain outside the comfort of the bar. She was a mess, but she looked happy compared to the lonely boy... It was annoying to have the tranquillity of the atmosphere ruined by another person, but it was none of his business. 

“Hi, Gavin! I know it’s late, but I just got good news. And I want to celebrate.” 

“Yea, the last time you celebrated- on your own might I add, you threw up.” Gavin then mouthed the words, “Get out.” 

Followed with, “Not the right time.”

The poor girl evidently was unable to comprehend what her friends were trying to tell her and well, she replied back with added sass. 

“Look, I just had too many drinks in one go, shut up. Just give me my drink. I promise I’ll have like 4 drinks. Max!” she then placed all of her stuff down on the bar table and smiled at the gloomy presence of Koo Junhoe. 

“Right- I call bull, but you’re giving me money anyway, whatever.” 

“Don’t forget the friend discount-” she said almost with a tune in her voice and looked to her left, finally acknowledging his presence. “Hi there, I’m Jinae.” 

‘Ah, fuck me.’ he mumbled to himself. 

“Jacob…” he downed the glass like it was water. “I- gotta go. I’ll come back another night, dude.” Junhoe left a few dollar bills on the table and stormed out of the bar not even looking back. 

He wanted to be alone. He wanted silence. The old Junhoe was back, and he was colder and more distant. This was the Junhoe no one wanted to be with, even Junhoe himself was scared. He had become the epitome of dysfunctional. And during then, he hated everyone and everything. 

The boy chose to ditch his friends that night. He knew that Hanbin wanted him around but it was best that he stayed on his own anyway. At least that’s what he was going to want for a long time. It rained again that evening, it’s like the world knew he was hurting. Junhoe never asked for much, all he really needed was to feel loved. No materialistic needs, none of that, just a hand to hold and a lover that made sure they were always going to be there. 

“Was it something I said?” Jinae rested her head on her palm, her arm propping her head up. 

A gem could never shine brighter than Jinae. Her name described her perfectly. She was a rare form of treasure, love and truth. Everyone she knew loved her, she was always so mellow. So the idea of someone being rather cold to someone like her was an odd thing to see. Jinae was genuinely concerned at the dark-haired boy that walked out in the pouring rain. 

She thought to herself, “Maybe I should go after him? Offer him my umbrella at least?” 

“He’s going through a tough time, Jinae, don’t worry about it. It wasn’t your fau-” 

Before he could finish, Jinae interrupted by getting up and started gathering her stuff.

“I’ll go after him.” Her confidence tonight was over the roof, she swigged the drink Gavin just finished making and walked away. 

“She didn’t even pay.” He sighed in defeat. “...she really is something.”

Outside the bar, Jinae looked around, fumbling with her umbrella and huffed. It wasn’t late at night, there were still cars around but the rain stopped anyone from being out in the open. It was pretty easy to spot the tall figure walking away on her right, she wondered why he wasn’t even trying to dodge the rain - he just walked. 

“What a weirdo.” She mumbled to herself as she speed-walked towards Junhoe. A flash of lightning decided to make an appearance too, making Jinae flinch. A crash of thunder followed next, her ears rang and she began to walk even faster. 

“If I die tonight, at least it was for a good cause…” She thought to herself but suddenly she yelled out. “...hello, please wait! I have short legs!” 

Junhoe turned around seeing the same girl at the bar walking towards him, she held her things close to her chest clearly not wanting them to get wet. Junhoe squinted to see her better and she really was there, coming for him. But for what? 

“What a weirdo,” he said to himself. “What do you want?”

Jinae managed to catch up with the wet and evidently disgruntled boy. 

“I wanted to give you this…” She fumbled looking through her tote bag and handed him an extra umbrella she miraculously had. She looked up at him and smiled. “Was he crying?” 

Junhoe exhaled, pushed his hair back and said, “Thanks, but I don’t need it.”   
He turned away, walking in the same direction without looking back. He didn’t have the time to feel bad for anyone, let alone some girl who just so happened to carry extra umbrellas in her bag. Junhoe wanted to be alone, that’s all he needed then. 

Jinae wasn’t going to let it happen though, she followed him quietly behind until he reached his apartment. Creepy, but to her, it only meant good intentions. She wanted to make sure he was going to be home safe at least. Her oblivious thoughts made her think that Junhoe just had a bad day. 

“Go home.” Junhoe looked back at Jinae who seemed spaced out. 

“Wait, how’d you know I was still here?”

“Do I come off as deaf? Miss, you walk pretty loud. Anyway, thanks for creepily following me home.” 

“I- wasn’t following yo-” 

“You’re annoying, has anyone ever told you that?” Junhoe bluntly spat out. He hailed for a cab that was approaching the two, still under the rain. “Go home, Mary Poppins.” 

Before Jinae could say anything, the taxi stopped and the door flung open for her to enter. Junhoe didn’t look back, he entered his complex and Jinae’s taxi drove off. After Jinae told her cab driver where to go, she sat quietly thinking to herself. Why was he crying in the rain? Why was he nice in the end? If he wasn’t he wouldn’t have called her a cab. He really was weird. 

“What was his name? Ah, yes, Jacob. Handsome. Slightly odd but handsome.” She smiled to herself knowing that she might’ve accomplished something. 

At least she knew he was home.


	4. "Don't be rude. I'm talking to you."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet again.   
> A better interaction perhaps?

It takes one person to see the hurt in someone else’s actions. You know when a person isn’t feeling that great, you ask them ‘What’s up?’ and they shrug and say they’re doing just fine, it’s always nice to give them that space but still constantly be there for them regardless. 

It’s been 3 days since Junhoe’s past lover ended things. It takes time for a heart to heal, of course, Junhoe will take forever. If you leave him alone with his thoughts, there really is nothing else for him to think about besides his breakup. Junhoe bombarded himself with regrets and self-accusations, he believed that he made Leila leave. Blaming yourself wasn’t always the best thing to do, but when you love someone so much, that’s all you could do anyway. 

There were a lot of things Junhoe could do to take his mind off of things. He was an amazing writer, he took photos of things that made him happy, he enjoyed being out and living. Sadly enough those were the things he also did when Leila was around. He wrote poetry about her, he took photos of her, and he loved holding her hand anywhere they went. Is there a way for Junhoe to do all of these things again without thinking about her? Maybe. 

Junhoe managed to get a good night’s rest, however, walking in the rain gave him the sniffles. It was a cold Sunday afternoon but the sun was out. He looked out his window and saw the world go through a bliss of happiness once again, it’s like nothing really changed. It was just him. He sat by his desk, took his notebook out and started doodling on the corners of an empty page. Maybe if he wrote something, he’d be able to heal quicker. At least with that, his thoughts were somewhere else. 

“Isn’t it weird?  
When you know love was already there for you and yet you chose to let it go  
When that person was willing to hold you close   
But you still didn’t know  
Whether it was true or just another facade  
Obliviously enough, I had everything I wanted  
But to her, there was something missing   
Something I couldn’t give her” 

He stopped writing after that last line. He didn’t exactly know what it was. What exactly was the thing he couldn’t give her? God knows.   
He sighed, closed his book and looked out the window once again. He yawned and immediately once his eyes focused back onto what was going on downstairs, he saw someone rather familiar. 

“Is that? Mary Poppins?” Junhoe snorted and leaned on his windowsill still looking at ‘Mary Poppins’. She was carrying the same tote bag she had the night before, she looked collected, less all over the place. She seemed to be buying flowers. The tall boy made the decision to go down and hopefully make himself seem less of an asshole from the way he treated her in their first encounter. That wasn’t going to change how he felt internally though. To him, she was still annoying… and weird. 

Why was she here in the first place?

Without saying anything, a loud cough decided to emit from June’s throat. Jinae jumped from the sudden noise and to her surprise, Junhoe was there. Less wet, obviously. 

“You’ve got hands, use them to cover your mouth. No one wants your disease, right? sir?” Jinae smiled at the vendor selling the flowers hoping for an agreed statement. All the vendor did was nod back in hopes that the two would just leave him alone. 

“See, even he thinks you’re weird. You really should just mind your own business, Poppins.” Junhoe responded with a smug look on his face. 

“My name is Jinae if you forgot. What are you doing here anyway?” Jinae carefully placed her flowers in her bag and crossed her arms, basically her attempt to look “intimidating”. 

Junhoe chuckled and bluntly said, “Unbelievable. You followed me all the way home last night, remember?” 

“Funny for you to think that I followed you home.” 

“Isn’t that what you did though? You followed me all the way here. I should be asking you what you’re doing here, weirdo.” Junhoe’s words came out strong and sarcastic but that didn’t put Jinae off. 

“I can be anywhere I want to be. That’s none of your business.” With that, Jinae walked away. 

Oddly enough Junhoe followed her, yelling out, “Don’t be rude. I’m talking to you.” 

Junhoe continued to follow silently behind her. His thoughts were telling him that following her would deem as creepy to others but then again, it seemed like they knew each other anyway. He just needed to not look creepy. 

She was persistent, she continued to go wherever she needed to go without looking back, without saying a word. She usually went this way on her own, but needless to say, it felt nice having Junhoe “desperately” follow her to where she was going. She knew Junhoe was still behind her, she could hear him sigh out loud and groan. Why isn’t he giving up? 

After what felt like hours, they finally made it somewhere. Looking around, Junhoe noticed where they finally ended up in, “The cemetery, eh? What is she supposed to do here?” he mumbled against his breath. 

Jinae still didn’t take the initiative to turn around and tell the confused boy what she needed to do there in the first place. She walked towards one of the columbariums and took the flowers out of her bag. Jinae looked behind her and Junhoe was gone. 

“Damn, she really is weird. Where is she?”, he looked around trying to see where Jinae went. He felt slightly uneasy being around a cemetery, so he chose to wait outside instead. 

And after a few minutes, Jinae came out. Flowers no longer in her bag and a soft smile appeared on her face. “You’re still here?”, she yelled out to Junhoe. 

The dark haired boy walked towards her and snorted, “Well, duh. I didn’t think it was right for you to be here on your own anyway.” 

She laughed and said, “Why didn’t you come in? Wuss.”

“Do you ever stop asking questions?”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first au, so please go easy on me.  
> I’m also not quite sure how far i’m planning to take this but we’ll see how it goes. 
> 
> I hope y’all like it though! I’ve been very excited about posting it, if you have me on twitter you would know. 
> 
> p.s. if there are any mistakes, let me know heh


End file.
